Kaiden Thomas

Writes

A Collection of Poetry Written by

Kaiden Thomas - Groton '23

Invisible

(Godlike)

Your smile is so beautiful

Yet I can’t help but notice what’s hiding behind it

Sometimes you look so wary when you show off those pearly whites

Like you’re afraid to be happy

What made you this way?

--K.T. 4/5/22

Universal

If I could give you the universe I would

That way you’d know that even infinity holds nothing compared to you

Instead I give you these words

Thousands, maybe millions, dedicated to your splendor

Because they are the closest thing to the universe in my mind

And while they do not physically hold stars and planets,

I hope you can see the light and glory

In each word I write about you

You are a thousand universes,

The ultimate nebula,

A meteor shower across the late night sky

You are what I look to when I need to know that things will be okay

You are a constant reminder that there is good in the world

You are everything I need you to be

And even when you don’t believe that, I will

Your splendor is universal

--K.T. 5/8/22

Consumed

You wholeheartedly consume me

My every thought, word, and deed

Are all in your honor

I can see your figure in the stars when I look to the light

You are everywhere I am

You are everything I am

I am nothing if not timber for your wildfire

--K.T. 5/16/22

Wary

Your smile is so beautiful

Yet I can’t help but notice what’s hiding behind it

Sometimes you look so wary when you show off those pearly whites

Like you’re afraid to be happy

What made you this way?

--K.T. 6/10/22

Losing You

You’re addicted to that substance

The lies in your head tell you that it’s sustenance

You’re fading away right in front of my eyes

My lover is disappearing with despair’s guise

Where is the one I promised my life?

Where is the one I once called my wife?

The old you is nothing but a memory

Seeing you like this feels like a dismembering

Only my body isn’t the only thing being cut away

But also the connection to the woman I promised the rest of my days.

I’m afraid you’re long past redemption

I just hope you aren’t beyond God’s attention

As you lose yourself you’re losing me

I just miss who you used to be

Before that clouded world of yours became your reality

--K.T. 6/21/22

Roller Coaster

As we slowly rise into the air, the man next to me says it’s better not to look down;

It’ll be less scary that way, especially when we descend.

But inside, I think it’s better to let myself see what’s underneath me—

The view of the horizon is a reminder of how big the world really is,

The small figures of those below me show me how small I am.

Which means that there’s so much out there for me to try, do, and chase,

And that in the end, I am nothing more than a speck to history.

So why not try to make the most of the time I have left?

--K.T. 7/4/22

Not The Same

Even before, I loved you

But this—this is something entirely different

This love is intense, it is longing, it is fiery

This love burns through my head and my heart

This is a feeling that is enthralling

I’ve loved you for so long now—

But the word has gained a new meaning,

One defined by memories and words and touch

Known only to you and me

And that is what makes this different—

This love is our own little universe

That can fit in the palm of a hand, or on the tip of a tongue

It is something that we can always give one another,

No matter what’s going on or where we are,

A fundamental base or wall that we can always fall back on

When life throws its best at us.

--K.T. 7/12/22

Hindsight

We were surrounded by the most beautiful scenery I could find

A place that I had spent hours dedicating my eyes and mind to,

Possibly my favorite place on this planet of ours

And yet all I could find myself looking at was her.

I should’ve known then

--K.T. 7/12/22

Spark

Keep looking towards the sun

Let your pain and sins fade into the shadows

Turn away from the dark and to that eternal ember that heats your body

Feel the warmth spread through you

Allow yourself to hope again

After every night there is day

The sun will illuminate the best parts of your soul

All you have to do is make it through the night.

--K.T. 8/13/22

Cycle

I used to be scared of that good feeling

Usually it’s followed by bad luck and tragedy

But it’s August now and the trees sure are beautiful

And the sun is relentless in the best of ways

Sadly, the summer’s almost over,

My childhood soon to follow in its footsteps

But that good feeling still doesn’t go away

That childlike hope is still with me

Even after all the battles I’ve fought

So no, I’m no longer scared

I’ll embrace the good with the bad

Because you cannot have one without the other

It’s not a linear path, more of a cycle

The same one that the earth follows

The same one that I live and die by

So why not make the most of it?

--K.T. 8/13/22

Fire in The Hole

We’ve gone too far, there is no return

The fire’s long gone and we’re left with its burns

The pain never leaves and neither do its scars

Trauma after trauma forges us into who we are

Or who we’re becoming, anyway,

Turning tomorrow into today

When your world burns down

You forget that it wasn’t always full of smoke

That once upon a time, it was full the sound

Of the beautiful singing from a voice the world long ago broke

--K.T. 9/13/22

A Little More

I’m so close to you that if you reach your palm out,

You’ll reach me without even trying.

But therein lies the problem:

The trying.

I think I’m a bit selfish,

To want the old you back

But selfishness is the first element of being human

I’m no less one than you are

And I try to keep that in mind when I start to judge you

We were placed on this earth to be imperfect

Yet something about your imperfections seem to bring mine out even more

I cry a little harder, get a just a tiny bit more angry

When it comes to you

Because since the day I was born I’ve been attached to you

Yet all I feel now is a cold shadow where your warm embrace once secured me

--K.T. 9/18/22

Go Ahead

You find yourself always wanting to run into their arms

To wrap yourself in the comfort of their loving embrace

To look up into those familiar eyes that long for you

Stop being afraid of that feeling

Run into their arms, fall for them

And they might just catch you

The only way to make dreams into reality is to chase them

--K.T. 9/20/22

Something Different

I was afraid

Of what was once within me

It’s possible that I still am

But now I know that with that destructive power

Something greater is also present

A will to create, to prosper

A force of strength so devastating that nothing can stand against it

So I close my eyes

And let that force overtake me

I lose myself in the light

Because I’m no longer scared of what resides in its shadows

--K.T. 10/12/22

More Than Friends

No longer are we just friends

Sometimes that’s hard to believe

You know everything about me

We tease and touch and laugh until our lungs hurt

Other days we cry and hold each other until our arms ache

I’m glad we believed in the possibility, in each other

No longer do we care about the rules

Instead we write our own

The risk is well-worth the reward, every single minute of it

Over sixth months later and I still daydream about you,

Wondering where you are and what you’re doing

Thinking about all the little details that I see every day

It worked out

We stopped just being “friends”

Stopped hiding from what we felt

Facing those fears

Made our bond so much stronger

For nothing scares me more

Than you never knowing how much you mean to me

--K.T. 10/24/22

Shattering

You can barely make it through your sentences now

Crying, detailing all of the things that’ve made your heart heart over the last month

As you describe the pain I sit there, staring out the window

How could you let it happen again echoes off the walls of my mind

Last time was supposed to be when things changed for the better

The final instance of me watching you shatter

I fought and clawed to pull you to the other side

But it wasn’t enough

It never will be

--K.T. 10/24/22

Accident

The instance of me realizing my love for you felt like nothing more than an accident

A fleeting thought in a quick moment of warmth and kindness

Something that was almost lost in the vortex of consciousness

Yet now that same thought crosses my mind too often to count

I tell you all the time and yet I still want to say it more

It's almost instinct, loving you

I never loved you on accident

It just took a little while for me to see it

--K.T. 10/24/22